About Me

A 30 something lesbian coffee drinker from London attempting to record and share our ttc journey. Hobbies and activities - dining out with The Wife, increasing our carbon footprint, napping, over sharing on Facebook, hunting for decent second hand book shops, pretending to knit.

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Waitin' to shoot up.

I've been down regging for almost a week - and I'm feeling it. Tears are ready to fall. I'm bleeding now for the third time in 3 weeks. I'm bloated, overheated, tired, unable to sleep. I'm slipping into a depression (just like last time) and constantly having to 'talk' to myself (in my head, because outside my head really would be cray-cray) and remind myself: IT'S JUST THE DRUGS.

Tomorrow I reduce my Synarel dose and start injecting 75 x 3 vials of Fostimon. Last time we started injecting I perked up considerably. I hope Fostimon has the same positive effect as Menopur.

Never have I felt such pressure. Even my Mother, who is usually a half empty kinda gal, said recently 'I have a good feeling this time' - whereas me, personally, am prepared for two outcomes:

- BFN (big fat no, for those not down with the lingo) or:

- BFP (big fat positive)... followed by a miscarriage.

To the women that go through cycle after cycle - I commend you. To the woman who try to conceive year after year you have my upmost admiration. If I drag myself out of my hormonal down regging induced pity party - we really only started 6 months ago. I need to put on my big girl pants and toughen up.

Egg collection is provisionally booked for Feb 12. The Wife has had to battle to get time off work for EC and ET - this has been stressing me out considerably.

Depressive update over. 


  1. I'm really crossing my fingers that this is the month for you!

    1. Thank you! I've added you to my blog role so I can keep updated with your journey xoxo

  2. Sorry you've encountered such inconsiderate comments from people! Hope this cycle is the one! I feel ya on the hormone roller coaster! I start shots tomorrow. Hang in there- there are far worse things to have than hope ;)

  3. Good luck over the next couple of weeks. Hope all goes well :)