Weary in West London

So: down regging is officially exhausting - FACT. I've been taking Synarel now for 9 days now and will continue to do so all the way through stimming.

We went to the clinic yesterday and the OD asked how I felt - "knackered" was my response. I had a scan to check on the progress of the appearance of AF - thankfully they could see the lining was extremely thick so they think I'll start in the next few days. However! Just to err on the side of caution they decided to prescribe Provera for 5 days. Provera is basically a medication to induce periods in women with irregular cycles. Usually you have to take a pregnancy test before the doctor will prescribe it - but as the nurse pointed out, as a same-sex couple - no need! Hee hee!

The Wife now has a million alarms on her phone to remind me to take what and when. Synarel at 07:30, Provera at 11:30, Pregnacare Conception after food and Synarel again at 19:30. I'm usually asleep by 21:00 most nights!!

The scan and appointment with the nurse was very reassuring. A friend of mine recently only retrieved 8 eggs and I started to panic about how many we'd retrieve. But the nurse seemed bemused by my concern and pointed out my AMH is excellent. Also, they counted almost 40 follies so nothing really to fret about. We'll see. At present there is no good reason why this shouldn't work. I'm a healthy height and weight. Great AMH. Under 35. And - as far as we know, no fertility issues. But....I just don't want to tempt fate. And also - falling first time just seems too damn lucky. So consequently the pessimist in me is applying for jobs. I have been fortunate to have 5 months off work and it'll be 6 by the time we are on the 2ww. I needed that time really, to get my head around what was happening with the cancer. I needed that time to support my Mother. Organise a funeral. But if it doesn't work I'll need something else to focus on - and obviously the ££ will come in handy. I can't stand the idea of having to wait months and months to save up for more treatment. Even now I am trying to decide our next course of action....and we haven't even completed this cycle - arghh!!!!

Generally....life is slowly and surely getting back to normal. We are seeing friends we haven't seen for months due to making family a priority. Its a healthy escape from the obsession that is TTC. Next weekend we are headed to the beach for a few days and I cannot WAIT. Just a change of scenery will be lovely. I'm taking books, walking shoes and will download plenty of movies to the iPad. I feel excited just thinking about it - yippee!

Next week we'll be back to the clinic for the baseline scan and injection training. I'm frankly, scared shitless. Not of the injections themselves, but of doing it wrong and fucking it all up. Ideally I'd like to leave it all in the hands of The Wife but realise I need to man up and get to grips with it. I've even been watching other bloggers videos of injection, which, whilst slightly reassuring also overwhelms me. I am guessing everything I am feeling is normal for a first timer...

Health wise I'm drinking tons of water and will do so all the way through stimms. I really have my fingers crossed I'll side step OHSS. They are putting me on a low dose of Menopur so fingers crossed I'm not over stimulated. I'm also eating lots and lots of protein. I've never eaten so well! For someone with a history of eating disorders....I'm quite proud of myself!

NFC xoxo